So no, I can’t buy into any of these rules memos running around the Internet.Except for the one about using a staple gun on the pants hanging down.
Before long, I’ll have a couple of lovesick boys wandering around the house with that glazed look in their eyes getting on my damn nerves.
If I have any say at all in the kind of ladies (note: I said “LADIES”) my boys bring home to date, they must follow mama’s very simple rules.
The ABC series, “8 Simple Rules (for Dating my Teenage Daughter),” was based on the book by W. The book (and TV series) offered a humorous look at how parents handle the world of teenage dating.
[ABC] Most of these rules predictably promised certain peril to the boyfriend at the hands of the father should certain lines of propriety be crossed; things like casting lascivious glances at said daughter, showing up with one’s pants hanging down around one’s hips …
in short, the kind of event that predictably ends with fathers glaring menacingly at young suitors.
While the original rules were meant to be a (mostly) humorous platform for a moderately-successful series, the 2013 versions are taking a left turn on to the on ramp to Crazy Town.
First out of the gate came an expanded “10 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter,” which was a spin off of the show, if you want to be generous, plagiarism if you’re feeling less so.
This is an equal opportunity nation, so it didn’t take long for the rules’ little brothers to show up: “10 Simple Rules for Dating My Son,” written by a mom to the unsuspecting bimbo young lady who foolishly dares to date her son. Frozen dinners do not count.” I don’t know about the author’s Special Snowflake, but for my teenaged sons, if it’s presented as edible, I’m pretty sure it counts, as I’m not sure they stop to chew before heading for seconds. “I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie ‘300’ will look like an episode of the ‘Little House on the Prairie’ should you cross me.” Me? Isn’t what’s important here, whether my son’s girlfriend crosses HIM? And what does this whole list say about the horror show of a future mother-in-law we’re looking at here?